Personal Rant No. 1

It’s a proven fact that a man cannot handle a child’s cry.

Tonight, as I was enjoying the night away watching a season series of “Chuck”. I was rudely interrupted by my brother’s yelling at my two year old niece to stop crying. My younger brother who was recently released from jail on the ankle bracelet because he couldn’t stand to be in jail in facing his own mistakes.

The issue tonight was a diaper change, getting a bottle, my niece repeating “no” and being bothered by my other brother mocking her little cries. The mother was busy with her other child and my brothers couldn’t lend a hand to help? They don’t know how to change a dirty diaper or make her a bottle?

Men don’t understand the reason why children cry, just as much as they don’t understand women. In order to understand the reason, there should be a common ground to talk about the situation or in other words; how to read a child’s emotion. There is a vast difference in calming a child from crying and babying.

Babying a child is spoiling the heck out of the child from buying the child gifts, answering yes to everything, take them out to their favorite places, buying them toys of all kind, and treat them out to all the restaurants. You’re basically pampering the child indicating that you approve of everything the child does. I find it funny that my younger brother thinks I’m babying her, when I have no money to spoil her or approve of all things she does. And the ironic part is, he’s the one who spoils her from taking her to eat out at restaurants, buying her toys and basically pampering her in every single way. So, how am I babying her?

When I know she does something wrong, I would tell her no in a really loud voice, time out or the occasion slap in the butt and sometimes ignore her.

So, is protecting my niece from being yelled at because she can’t make her own bottle, change her diaper or being mocked at going to her? Yelling is not going to solve a problem or make it go away. Hence, men cannot handle a child’s cry or even know how to sooth or calm them. Does he not know that a child will always cry to people’s loud voices? It scares the child to a worse situation. That’s one of the main reasons why I slapped my brother across the face, because he thinks he knows so much about raising a child when he’s in fact a child himself playing video games on the X-Box. He may have slapped me back, but I don’t care. He needed a slap down anyways because he crossed the line in punishing a child whose not his own. He doesn’t have the right to yell at a two year old who only wanted a bottle, a change of diaper and to stop being mocked at. He could have helped the situation instead of being so focused on his gaming devise.

A real man would know how to calm a child’s cry by talking or soothing them in the first place. Soothing and calming a child’s cry is different than babying. For example, if you don’t want the child’s cry to continue, you either calm them down by holding them or talking to them in a loving way. I just hate how the men in our family thinks they are above reproach when it comes down to parenting. Nothing is above or beyond reproach when it comes to parenting. It’s an unpredictable dilemma when it comes to parenting. If a man-child cannot handle a child’s cry or know how to change a dirty diaper, please keep your opinions or thoughts to yourself. Don’t pretend you know any better, when you’re not the parent.

I may have come strong and writing bad things about his attitude, but this is a real situation that always happens to common people who think they know what’s best when they don’t know anything at all. Please understand that people of all ages make mistakes and they will never own up to their end of that mistake.

It’s funny how I always have to yell higher for him to listen to us, he doesn’t know how to listen to those who are close to him or how to take advise to turn his life around. He should be thankful for our mother bailing his ass out of jail, he couldn’t even last one month behind bars to face his consequences and stupidity. Now he assumes he knows what best for our niece and nephew, when he doesn’t know how to take care of his own problems?

I am thankful for the life I have and that God has given me the strength to last this long in this house. If I wasn’t around, I think my single parent little sister wouldn’t know how to go with life. This family all needs therapy, especially in regards to our anger issues and how all of our feelings are bottled up inside our hearts. I just thank God that I am relieved of all the pain, the obligations I have for this family and escaping the curse that has trapped us all in this family. I am free from all of it.

I used to be so worried about how people would think of me, but I am glad that I am over that. Now, if people calls me selfish in focusing on myself for the first time in my life. I don’t care because I am not doing them any favors for all I have done for them in the past. They are all on their own. It’s time for them all to grow up and do it themselves. Life is not a game, it’s a challenge and my first goal is my health.

If focusing on my health is a selfish deed, then I am guilty about that.

About See Lo

I’m a freelance Web Designer and avid Blogger. My previous work has been published in Wisconsin Pages, Yahoo! Voices, Nubqub International, Asiance Magazine, Hmong Today, Hmong Is You Magazine, Teen Hmong, Future Hmong Magazine and eye.D Magazine. Several poems have been published in Paj Ntaub Voice, a literary arts journal and had the opportunity to work with published author Robert Danielak and Dr. Alicia Ghiragossian (poet-philospher) on the second edition of Alicia G: The Poet-Philosopher of the New Millennium.
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